Harry's Big Fight!!!

Prologue:
Vivek “Check EETS” B.S. fell headlong into hot thick soup when he stood up to his Project Manager, Mr. Sal-rukh Khan, when the latter dumped him with more work and Vivek bravely refused. One thing led to another, and out of the blue, his PM decided that threats would intimidate Check EETS into taking care of the extra work. So, Sal-rukh Khan used his considerable clout and called the services of the now-bankrupt, former Super-Heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson in order to cower Check EETS into submission. But Cheki displayed his indomitable spirit when he was steadfast to his position, although amidst trepidation, he enlisted the protection of his friend, The ‘Widowmaker’ against the marauding ear-biter.
Now, Tyson knows his opponent, but is cocky about his prowess, but the Widowmaker isn’t aware of his opponent and agrees to battle it out with “He-who-troubles-Check EETS”.

Present:
[Narrator] (voice booming over the microphone) – Good Afternoon folks! We are LIVE outside the main gate of the Mysore Infosys Campus for today’s momentous match! Hello and welcome…I’m Narr Ator……

[Man] – ……….And I’m Narun Ayar joining him for what promises to be a treat for the bloodthirsty among us! In fact, whoever comes out on top today, it's the audience who wins! Please note that the bets are to be placed at the main gate security counter and proceeds from the bets will help the company in its new Software Development training plan package -“Campus Connect for Toddlers”! Several of them are in the audience today!

[Toddlers] *Wave and cheer*

[Narrator] (Snatching the mike back and harshly whispering) – Hey, what is this? Why are you reporting this fight? Shouldn’t you actually be EARNING your salary by working?

[Narun Ayar a.k.a. N.A] (harshly whispering back) – Hey, now look here. I don’t see any ID tag around you. I wonder how entered the premises in the first place! So, I either report you to security OR we both be civil and you hand me that spare mike over there…

[Narrator] (loudly clearing his throat) - ….Anyways, here comes our contestants! Walking down the road towards our left is Harry! Amazingly, we see a mask around Harry’s head! Is he cocky enough to take on Tyson blindly or is this a brilliant ploy from Check EETS so as to keep Harry from getting intimidated by his opponent!

[Narahari] (rolling his fists into balls) - It's Clobbering time!

[Narrator] - I’m afraid that didn’t sound mean enough, coming from your plump and cherubic face, Mr. Narahari. If you could be so kind as to be gruffer…

[Harry](clearing throat, practicing a couple of times and bellowing) – IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!

[Narrator] – That’s better. But I’m afraid we’ll first have to check with Marvel Comics to see if you are allowed to use the Fantastic Four phrase so shamelessly in public. But moving on……
Here we see the ‘Baddest man on the Planet’ in flesh, to our right as Mike Tyson comes ambling along with his perpetual mean frown. Notice how the entire crowd is taking one step back in fear and awe! Come to think of it, he doesn’t look as big as we think of him to be. Could it happen that Harry could actually clinch…Mr. Ayar! Why are you slinking away? Don’t tell me you are afraid of the ear-biter!!!

[N.A] – Nonsense! Well, coming back to the topic. It’s true! The boxer hunk looks puny in front of the Design Engineer from P.L.E.S!! As a wise man once said, the strong baboon is nothing compared to the weak but skilled baboon who will make coconut chutney of the others ass, steal his girlfriend and crash his Ferrari as well as trashing his house. In other words, Narahari, though not the fighting kind, might have a chance if he played to his strengths!
Well, here are some stats that I dug up from The Encyclopedia Galactica and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy!

[CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE]

[Narrator] – Well folks, that gives you an overview into the two contestants! But, I too dug up some specific info on the two fighters. Here they are -
[CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE]

So there you have it people, the boxer might have the odds tilted in his favour, but Narahari, with his ‘Belly Thrust’, and by putting the advantage he gains through superior height and weight, can curb the ego and eventually go on to defeat Mike Tyson himself!!! The fighters are moving ……………

[Harry] – HOLD IT!!!! Who did you say my opponent was?!?!?!

[N.A] – It’s the Kid Dynamite! It’s the American Bad-ass! It’s Mike Tyson, my friend!

[Harry] (removing his mask with shock) – Oh My God! It IS true! Cheki, how could you not tell me man! I shall shave your head once this is over. I refuse to die! I refuse to fight Mike Tyson!

[Narrator] – Ah, Mr. Narahari…I’m afraid matters are a bit more complicated now. After having foolishly signed the iron-clad contract prepared by Check eets WITH the mask on, you are now compelled to fight the hulk OR listen to the endless tirades and ravings of Check EETS for the remainder of your life!

[Harry] – Oh, now that puts me in a very tight spot now, doesn’t it? Alright, I chose the first evil over the other. Let’s do this fight then! But give some time to call up my parents and friends to say Goodbye!

[N.A] – Do not lose hope my friend! [to Narr Ator] My gut tells me this fight will be over faster than a ‘session’ with a hooker!

[N.A] – Anyhoo, The Widowmaker and Mike are now in place for the fight. The crowd of interns, production folks and curious onlookers is wild, the cheerleaders are in place and we see the two contenders walking towards each other! Narahari has extended a hand of friendship to the mean-machine and surprisingly, we see Tyson accept it!!

[Narrator] – Ewww…looks like a tight grip ‘Iron’ Mike has on the design engineer! Harry won’t be able to open that jar of pickles at home for a couple of weeks!

[N.A] – Aw! That’s an unexpected uppercut from the gentle giant to Tyson. Tyson has suddenly let go of Hari’s hand! But he’s too cool, too cocky! He is evidently unaware of Harry’s signature thrust!

[Mike Tyson] – Hell, this is too easy! I’ll even give you the first shot! Take it, I promise you, it’ll be your last!

[N.A] – Narahari seems to be rushing towards his unmoving opponent and is now landing a swift volley of jabs, hooks, straight rights, uppercuts. I’m surprised at how a professional heavyweight fighter is having trouble resisting an untrained software engineer and even getting wobbled a few times!

[Narrator] – It’s been one whole minute of constant hammering on Tyson’s defenseless, muscled body and Mike now looks angry! Awwww…that’s a devastating right jab on Hari’s stomach! He seems to doubling over in pain! I wonder how anybody is letting this cruelty happen in the first place. Hey, did anybody order Pizza?

[N.A] – Stop that! It’s not funny! The Widowmaker seems to be barely recovering from the under-powered punch there. He is squinting his eyes in displeasure.

[Mike Tyson] – I’m just warming up punk! You are toast! muhuhahahahahahaha (continues laughing for some time)

[Narrator] – Harry has gone back a few steps. He seems to have recovered from the blow. What have we here! The two contenders are rushing towards each other! BAAAM!

[N.A] – What just happened? Where are the fighters? So much dust….Wait, you aren’t going to believe this! Mike Tyson is on the ground! There’s no need for a referee! He is K.O!!!

[Narrator] – And, Harry is stuttering. He looks like he’s been hit by a train! I don't think he knows who he is anymore! But amazingly, he is standing! Oh no, there he falls….And so, with this, there is no winner to the fight!!! The match has ended in a draw! This is mind-boggling! Well, here is our guest commentator, Mr. Albert Einstein, to clear all our doubts! What do you think happened, Albert?

[Einstein] – Well, things happened too fast, but I conjecture using basic principles of vector analysis and the General Theory of Relativity that Tyson’s 2600 lbs deadly ‘left jab’ exactly counter-acted with the grossly underrated 2365 lbs ‘Belly–thrust’ of the Widowmaker, and owing to Harry’s superior weight and momentum, it proved too much for the heavyweight champion and he was knocked out, but without being propelled into the air, while at the same time, Harry has been knocked clean too…

[Narrator] – Hope you guys followed that, coz I didn’t! Thanks anyway, Albert!
So there you have it folks! This match has resulted in a no-winner, but it surely will result in Check EETS being on bench for a longer period and Mr.Sal-rukh Khan not being able to do anything about it!
And once, the two fighters come out of coma, I’m sure they’ll extend their arms in friendship once again and this time, in earnest!
But before we leave, let’s mourn for a minute for Vivek B.S., the twisted soul who will be attacked by both the combatants once they wake up, leaving him paralyzed and with a shaven head, for having organized this stupid match and for having come up with this incredibly lame-ass write-up!!! So it’s Goodbye from me, Narr Ator!

[N.A] – And this is Narun Ayar signing off too, with the solemn promise from Check EETS that there won’t be any more such stupid match-ups or face-offs in the near-future! Thanks for your time! Au revoir!